It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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