cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
