you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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