You made me cry and you don't even care
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
now i know why i became what i already was.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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