I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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