He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
