the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i barfeds in our rink
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
