Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize