So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I need a beard to bite.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
