I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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