How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
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I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
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I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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