What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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