I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
