You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
