sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
