the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
