Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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