stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
