So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
