did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
