I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
