Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
