not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
