They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We need to get me chipped asap
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
