My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I want to fling myself into the sun
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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