weddingsv make me drug and hornr
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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