I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
