It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
