her vagine was all disorganized.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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