Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it because I queefed?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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