woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize