Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
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