Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm like, not good at living.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
