i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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