dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
