im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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