This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
