He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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