mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
