This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Randomize
