doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
