doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
