maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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