I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
