soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
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