I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
