And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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