At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
