I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
So squirting runs in the family.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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