I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I need to sanitize my soul.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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