His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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