i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
