There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
