I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
