Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
