Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize