WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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