just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
