im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
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update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
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