I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
