Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
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He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
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For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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