16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
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he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
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Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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