he shaved USA in his pubs
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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