That's intense
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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