I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
