i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize