She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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