Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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