Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
